Monday, December 19, 2011

Why am I having such a difficult time choosing a college major?

I graduated from high school in 2007 & was set on being a Pharmacist. My grades weren't great & my advisor told me I have no chance of being a Pharmacist so I might as well change my major. I asked her if I should try and become P.A. (Physician's istant), Physical Therapist, etc (& basically every thing I told her.....she shot me down and said I basically have no chance of getting a degree in the medical field. At a young age I had my heart set on having a career in the medical field because I know its what my parents wanted. I come from a Indian family and my parents are quite understanding..but they always insinuated & kind of expected me to become a doctor, pharmacist, etc. Back then it didn't bother me, because I wanted to do whatever I could to make them proud of me. I have an older brother and sister who majored in Finance, Management & Marketing, and Business..& since my parents have worked in the medical field their entire lives I always felt like they expected me to follow in their footsteps and do more than they did since my brother and sister chose their own majors. The college advisor told me I have no chance getting a degree in the medical field I was so lost & confused and did not know what to do. I cried for weeks, because I was so scared of not knowing what I was going to do with my life, and on top of that I didn't want to disappoint my parents. The cles I had been taking were pre-requisites for Pharmacy so I changed my mind and decided to go towards Nursing instead despite what the advisor told me. Right now I've applied for two R.N. programs and am in the process of applying to some BSN programs. At this point I really am so frustrated and confused. My plan was always to graduate and get my degree and travel. I am so very much interested in other cultures which is why I want to travel everywhere I can (I recently have discovered Japanese anime and culture as well as South Korean culture and I want to learn as much as I can). Now in 2011, I should be graduating with a Bachelor's degree but I'm stuck with a basic A.A. degree because I can't decide what I want to do. The more I think about it, I wonder is the medical field really for me? Don't get me wrong.....the career and subject is appealing and interesting to me and it is a career that provides a nice salary, but I just don't know what to do. Another thing is I really like children and always thought it would be so neat to be an elementary school teacher but I never thought too much about it, because I would like a career that has a higher salary. I recently discovered that you can become an English teacher (some countries require you to have a Bachelor's Degree in English or Education) and teach English to children in different countries. I told my parents about it and my dad said that if I get my Nursing degree first he would have no objections with me teaching in foreign countries. The thing that worries me is, once I get my R.N. or B.S.N (which ever program I get accepted into first) I will start to work and not have the time to go back and get an English degree or even travel so that I can teach overseas. Even though I am only 21 (will be 22 in August) I'd always hoped I would be finished with school (at least the part of school where my parents would be happy with me) so that I could finally enjoy life and travel or do whatever! I have always had the thought that it would be so neat to study abroad but my dreams just seem so far away and I feel like nothing will ever be accomplished. I'm always thinking "wouldn't it be great to visit Japan, Bali, Italy, etc or do something exciting....but they're all thoughts that never get turned into actions. There's so much going on in my head that I just break into tears sometimes. All kids want their parents to be proud of them, but I feel like if I choose a random major that I would enjoy like (asian studies, psychology, elementary education) they would be disappointed in me. I mean they're paying for school, books, everything....the least I can do is make them proud of me by following what they want me to do. I have no motivation, I'm mentally & physically drained..literally I have no energy :( My sister is my best friend in the entire universe and she is going through an abusive marriage (both physically and mental) and it breaks my heart. My brother, who I am close with, also got married a few months ago so I live alone with my parents. I never go out, because I am not comfortable with my appearance. I only have a small handful of friends who I only get to see from time to time, so I get really lonely :( I get so upset & start eating away & now I'm overweight. When I was thin people told me all the time how I was so cute and had a great smile but I feel so unattractive. I've never had a boyfriend & i try not to let it bother me (it really doesn't) but of course at times I get super lonely. I w

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